Depression

Sub-Category for Depression

  • Depression,  OCD,  Suicidal Thoughts

    Planning vs Ideation

    Apologies, first of all, for falling quiet over the last week or so. Not that anyone is particularly following this, but I’m trying to keep up with actively posting. There are just times I disconnect and collapse into myself… And that kind of happened. While those periods of isolated, musing melancholy can be burdensome – they can also (at times) stimulate thought. And I’ve been thinking about suicide…for better or worse. To start with, let’s cover some basic definitions. Suicidal ideation refers to thoughts of/about suicide. While this could include intent or plans of action, ‘ideation’ is used to indicate the presence of recurrent thoughts as a symptom/manifestation unto itself.…

  • Depression,  OCD,  Suicidal Thoughts

    Musing on Impossible Choices & Isolation

    So… I’ve spent the last week on a vacation with some of my family. Now, under the best of circumstances? My OCD makes interacting with others, socializing, and just existing challenging. This has been doubly true in the midst of a pandemic. That said… I’m at a particularly low point that’s been lasting for months now. Granted, clinical depression is marked by such lows. But…this has felt different. Worse, even. So… I came on this trip hoping it would be something of a saving grace for me. That I’d reconnect with family, find inspiration in the scenic beauty of these captivating shores, and recommit myself to personal projects such as…

  • Depression,  Suicidal Thoughts

    When Hope Becomes Intangible

    There’s a platitude which asserts that depression is being unable to find joy in the things that normally engage, interest, and excite you. I disagree. Certainly disengagement from normal interests, increased negativity, and a generalized malaise are signs of depression – readily conceded. However, in my experience? I’d argue that depression is something more nuanced and all encompassing in the pain it presents with. Mild/moderate depression makes it difficult to enjoy many things, but actual depression tends to take on darker hues: making it impossible to enjoy almost anything as it takes hold. It’s the difference between a mildly overcast day obscuring your view of the horizon, and an immensely…